Sunthing Special

Sorry to be a bit on the dark side, but yesterday I heard about the death of a former colleague: a 37-year-old marathon runner, found dead in his bed of a heart attack 2-1/2 days after the fact. The last couple years have brought news of several former grade school/high school classmates’ deaths  as well — four cases of  cancer, one motorcycle accident and one the result of alcoholism. So of course everyone’s immediate thoughts are how that person’s lifestyle or whatever made them a risk, so they can feel safe themselves. Smoker, drinker, too fat, too much exercise, not enough exercise — you tell yourself whatever you can so you can sleep at night. But you know, I learned when my three-year-old nephew died suddenly many years ago, sometimes people just die. And all you can do (aside from living as healthy and safely as you can) is try to live your life with as few regrets as possible, and letting those you love know how much you love them everyday.

True, I have a few years of worrying and fretting to go before my three are teenagers. But the point is, I had long discussions with both of my nieces (16 and 18) this week and boy did they depress me!!! The stories they told me of drugs, drinking, sex, date rape, sneaking out of the house, lying, crazily permissive parents — ai yi yi. I’m scared!! My friends and I all vow we’re not going to be the “clueless” parents — that we’ll know when something is amiss — but is it inevitable that we will not know all the stuff our kids are doing?? “Your kids are going to lie to you,” one of my nieces bluntly stated. I know, most kids do crazy stuff in high school and college and turn out just fine (we did, didn’t we??) — but I think about the kids that don’t make it. Maybe parents turn a blind eye because it’s so darn depressing and scary to face reality??

I try to expose my children to a wide variety of museums and other “cultural” opportunities; fortunately, they abound in this area. Also a good thing is that the museums of today are in general a whole lot more child-friendly than when we were kids. Which is a smart thing, because today’s pint-sized museum-goers are going to be the art patrons of tomorrow. And a museum needs patrons to survive. (As an aside, I think the average kids’ enjoyment at a museum is inversely proportional to the price: i.e. places that are “boring” to most kids are free while places like Disney World are $63/day for kids 3-9, and $75 for “adults 10+” (I love how Disney considers a 10-yr-old an “adult”). Anyhow, my point is that the more a museum tries to appeal to kids, the more the kids are going to grow up with a positive feeling toward the place and are likelier to be donors or members when they grow up. That’s why places like Stan Hywet are smart to have exhibits like treehouses and doghouses that the kids can climb in and around. But there are some places which are still very crabby to kids. Not only is there nothing for the kids to touch or play with, but the guards are very gruff. I understand, and continue to emphasize to my children, the need to not touch and be respectful of artwork, not to run, not to talk loudly. My children are not perfect, but they are definitely not tasmanian devils wantonly knocking over priceless antiques or works of art. This is my take on it: if you don’t want young children in your museum, DON’T ALLOW THEM. For example, Fallingwater in PA is not open to kids under 5. That is perfectly reasonable and understandable. But if you’re going to allow kids, then you should be a bit more child-friendly. Even if you can’t provide any hands-on activities (though I would think you could do that cost-effectively for just about any museum), then at least have your guards be a bit less gruff. Yelling at little children isn’t going to win you any fans, young or old.