Sunthing Special

What’s the statue of limitations on referring to oneself with a former title? For example, recently we saw a woman advertise herself as “Miss (Whatever) 1990″. I’m thinking, you won that title 20 years ago and you still refer to yourself that way? Is that really your whole identity? I’m thinking maybe five years of bragging rights is acceptable plus a lifelong right to casually mention the fact if it is relevant to the situation at hand. But those people still calling themselves whatever they were 20 years ago? They need to go beyond their “glory days” and forge a new identity instead of relying on one that gets more obsolete each year. 

My BFF says she hates when people she hasn’t seen since high school say this to her. She thinks they’re implying that her hairstyle, etc. is stuck in the 80s. I pondered this issue for a few minutes, then decided this. If you looked great in high school and still look great (like my BFF), this is a compliment. However, if you looked bad in high school and look great now, it’s an insult. Conversely, if people say, “Oh my God, I never would have recognized you!” it’s a compliment if you looked bad in high school and look great now. However, if you looked great in high school and you’ve gone downhill so much that no one recognizes you, well, maybe you should think about skipping that high school reunion.

So you’re talking with someone you know slightly and they tell you how old they are because they just celebrated a birthday. You should answer, “Really?! I thought you were much younger than that! You look great!” Even if you don’t mean it. Trust me, it’s okay. Because if you respond with silence the other person thinks, “Oh God, do I really look my age? Or, God forbid, do I look even older?? Then they’re bound to fret the rest of the day.

One of MSN.com’s top stories today is “60 is the New Sexy”. They feature 26 women age 60 and over and fawn over their looks and/or accomplishments. It looked to me like just  3 of the 26 women had gray/ing hair: Helen Mirren, Debbie Harry and Alice Walker. So a substory under the “60 is the New Sexy” story is “Ten reasons to stop coloring your hair and go gray”. If gray is so sexy (which is one of the 10 reasons listed) why do only three of these women have gray hair? And as an aside, how many of these women have had some sort of plastic surgery to boot? And actually, I think some of them look like they’re trying wayyyyyyyy too hard to look young (i.e. Carly Simon, whose voice I like, but she looks ridiculous in the photo). You don’t have to be dowdy and frumpy just because you’re 60, but you do need to realize you are not in your 20s and never will be again.

and you might wear trendy clothes … but did you ever think that it’s your name that gives away your age? For example, if your name is Karen, Lisa, Laura, Lynn, Patty, Joann, Marcia, Sue, or Cynthia, you’re probably in your 40s or 50s. Want to pretend you’re in your early 30s? Just change your name to Tiffany, Nicole or Heather.

I was at a luncheon yesterday where a soon-to-be 100-year-old woman was being interviewed. The woman, who looked no more than 85, was dressed sharply in jeans, a colorful jean jacket and sandals. She noted that she was still driving, but that it was difficult because her hearing was bad (and as sweet as she was, I’m not sure her mind was 100% either). Half the crowd clapped and I think the other half looked a bit worried. I understand totally how much people connect driving with independence, but is it really safe for a 99-year-old woman with bad hearing to be driving? I always think of it this way — would you let someone like that drive your children around or would you ride in the car with them yourself if you could not  take over? How about in a sudden heavy rain or snowstorm? If not, is it safe for them to be driving, period? I know, legally it is okay if they pass the driver’s exam. But what about common-sensically? There comes a point when some people’s keys need to be taken away, for good.